Road To E3
by jason429
Summary: #RoadToE3 UberHaxorNova x ZodicalCandy
1. It begins

**Road To E3**

 **Authror's Note: Alright hello my name is Jason and welcome back to PLAYthe- Oh wait...*check's script* whoops wrong script. Anywho as I'm writing this The Creatures are on the #RoadToE3 so I decided to write a fanfic for the occasion. Yes this is a UberHaxorNova x ZodicalCandy fanfic too.**

 **James POV:**

 **It was the night before the big road trip before E3 and Zodical and I were finishing up some last minute packing.**

 **"I'm so excited for the E3 trip tomorrow" said Zodical.**

 **"Is this your first E3?" I asked.**

 **"Yeah it is" she answered.**

 **"You're gonna have a fucking blast" I replied.**

 **"Did you set the alarm for tommorow?" asked Zodical zipping up her luggage.**

 **"Yeah" I replied as I set the alarm.**

 **The following morning 4:45 AM**

 ***Alarm buzz***

 **"Zod *yawn* wake up" I shook her awake.**

 **"Alright alright *yawn* I'm up" said Zodical as she sluggishly rolled out of bed.**

 **"James warm us up some coffee while I shower will you?" said Zod as she went to the bathroom.**

 **After we both got ready we headed out to the office to wait for everyone(execpt for Artist Joe who won't be joining us on the trip).**

 **"I'm so *yawn* tired" yawned Zod.**

 **"There's some Redbull or something in the fridge" I told her as I went to Jordan's office.**

 **"Is everyone on their way?" I asked.**

 **"Intern Joe says he's here, Stefani, Aron, and Spencer are on their way, and Aleks, Dex, and Kevin just left" said Dan.**

 **"Now I'm just organizing the vehicles for the trip, where's your wife James?" asked Jordan.**

 **"She's in the kitchen" I replied.**

 **As everyone arrived and Jordan got the rentals the #RoadToE3 has begun.**


	2. Mountain Folk

**Road To E3: Mountain Folk**

 **Zodical POV:**

 **As we're all on the road myself, James, Dex, Stefani, and Spencer couldn't help notice Jordan's car had the hood up.**

 **"Uh is Jordan's fucking hood up" I asked as I point.**

 **"Oh my fucking god wait hold on Jordan what the fuck is going on over there" asked Dex using the walkie talkie.**

 **"Aleks sabotaged the car" said Jordan via walkie talkie.**

 **After Jordan magaged to get the hood situation under control we lost sight of him. Stefani checked up on Jordan's group.**

 **"Hey is the car fine?" asked Stefani.**

 **"No I think something uh something popped out" replied Aron.**

 **"You're ridiculous, How close are you guys?" asked Stefani.**

 **"Why'd you even ask me-?" asked Aron as he was cut off.**

 **"I was just making sure!, Yeah we're already there" said Stefani.**

 **"Yeah I'm taking an alternate route" said Jordan.**

 **"We'll be there within about 25 to 30 minutes" said Aron.**

 **"We're going to the Village Inn" said Aleks.**

 **"Anything?" I asked.**

 **"Jordan's taking a detour and will be here within 25 to 30 minutes" replied Stefani.**

 **"I wonder where they're going?" asked Spencer.**

 **"Probably one of Jordan's stupid fucking planned landmarks" said James.**

 **Meanwhile.**

 **Jordan POV:**

 **What is happening back there?" I asked as I heard a bag of chips.**

 **"I don't think we got enough snacks" said Aron.**

 **"We don't have enough snacks" said Aleks**

 **"They don't have enough seeds" said Dan messing with the camera.**

 **"This is this is just snacks for the first stop" said Aleks muching on chips.**

 **"We need a snack run" said Aron partaking in chips.**

 **"Did someone fart?" asked Dan as everyone sniffed at the smell.**

 **"Oh what is that smell? I think it's outside" said Dan.**

 **"Aron has atomic farts" said Dan.**

 **"I'm not gonna use my nose" said Aron.**

 **"Ugh yeah now I'm getting a little bit of it" I replied getting a whiff of the smell.**

 **"It is outside" said Dan confirming the source.**

 **"Ugh maybe it's a dead deer carcass" I replied as I pulled my shirt over my nose.**

 **After driving more I noticed in the rearview mirror we got someone following us.**

 **"Uh oh uh oh we got a local a local yokel" I pointed out.**

 **"What coming up behind us?" asked Dan.**

 **"Yep" I answered.**

 **"You see that's the thing we got mountain folk up here. He's gonna know we're tourists because we have the Carolina plates" I added.**

 **"Jordan I have a feeling you're gonna kill us" said Aron.**

 **"No one's gonna die" I replied.**

 **"I didn't say we're gonna die I said you're gonna kill us" said Aron.**

 **"Yeah he's right on you Jordan, what the fuck is that guys problem? WHY IS SO CLOSE? WHAT IS THIS IS THIS DUEL? asked Dan.**

 **"This is what happens when they see tourists they tailgate them" I added.**

 **Aleks then rolled down the window and held out a plastic bag as if he was about to let go of it.**

 **"ALEKS WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" I asked.**

 **"This will slow him down" replied Aleks.**

 **After Aleks rolled up the window our pursuer seem to back off a bit. But he was still behind us.**

 **I tried to shake him off as best I could making sharp turns along the way while everyone else was screaming in terror.**

 **After a while our pursuer slowed down.**

 **"See he's way back there we're doing good we showed him that's what you do you show him who's boss an then he won't tailgate he sees your an eradic driver and then he'll just back off" I told everyone.**

 **After driving through more yokel shacks our pursuer was STILL on our tails.**

 **"Oh he's back he's back he caught you sightseeing Jordan" said Dan.**

 **"Crap I showed more weakness" I replied.**

 **"Alright we're almost there we're almost there" I added.**

 **"Oh he's going even faster" said Aron looking back.**

 **"Oh my god what is he doing?" asked Dan.**

 **"He's just not happy with us" I replied.**

 **"He sped up" said Aron.**

 **"I think he sees me filming him" said Dan.**

 **"Probably he wants to get his moment" I added.**

 **"We're almost there" I added.**

 **"YOU KEEP SAYING THAT, we've been on the road for like 10 minutes and you keep saying we're almost there" said Dan.**

 **"Are they there already" I asked.**

 **"Yeah they said they've been there for like 20 minutes" replied Aleks.**

 **"My Village Inn story probably seems pretty legit at this point" added Aleks.**

 **"Oh he's gone" I said.**

 **"WHAT?!" asked Dan.**

 **"He dissapeared" I replied.**

 **"You see now we can enjoy the sceneary" I added.**

 **After even more driving I seem to get us lost again but I tried to act like I know where we're going.**


	3. Tiny Town

**Road To E3: Tiny Town**

 **Intern Joe POV:**

 **We we're almost there to our first stop.**

 **"Let's play uh 21 questions" said Dex**

 **"I don't know what the fuck that is" said James.**

 **"Me neither" said Dex.**

 **We arrived at out first destination...Tiny Town.**

 **"WAIT A MINUTE WHAT THE FUCK?" I asked.**

 **"What the fuck is this" asked Zodical.**

 **Spencer parked the car as we walked inside.**

 **"Aww it's closed" I said reading the said.**

 **"Oh look it's Thomas The Tank Engine" said Spencer.**

 **"I think we should all jump the fence" I suggested.**

 **As we all tried to find a way to sneak in Stefani tried to contact Jordan's group.**

 **Meanwhile**

 **Jordan POV:**

 **"Hello?" I asked.**

 **"Jeez Louise you guys are terrible at checking your phones" said Stefani.**

 **"What?" I asked.**

 **"We're filming" said Dan.**

 **"WE'RE TRYING TO SURVIVE!" I explained.**

 **"It's closed, we're trying to jum the fence but there's 24 hour survalience" said Stefani.**

 **Joe POV:**

 **"Is there an easy way in?" asked Zodical.**

 **"There's gotta be because if there's an easy in there's an easy way out" I replied.**

 **"Well we just gotta keep looking" said James.**

 **Jordan POV:**

 **"Stef we'll be there in a bit just hold on" I said as I hung up.**

 **Joe POV:**

 **"That car must be a train wreck" said Stefani.**

 **"What happend?" asked Spencer.**

 **"Jordan is trying to survive amd he's super behind I don't think he's a very good driver" said Stefani.**

 **"But there's like four people" I replied.**

 **"Hey James there's a cliff over there maybe we can climb through there" I suggested.**

 **"That's what I've been saying that's where it ends" said James.**

 **"They're here an they want us to meet them by the entrance" said Stefani just getting off her phone.**

 **As everyone met up with each other we all tried to figure out a way to jump the fence.**

 **James, Zodical and Spencer found a way in.**

 **"We decided to commit to tresspassing" said James using his walkie talkie.**

 **"Please note if you do commit to trespassing not footage will be allowed to be used" said.**

 **"That fucking sucks the viewers won't know about the amazing Tiny Town" said Zodical as she Spencer and James snuck in knowning no one will ever know if we actualll sneaked in or not. It will forever be a mystery.**


	4. Coney Island Hotdogs

**Road To E3 Coney Island Hotdogs**

 **Zodical POV:**

 **We we're on our way to our next destination which apparetly to Jordan is where will eat. This outta be good.**

 **"Alright boys and girls we're here!" said Jordan in excitement.**

 **"Wait a minute James you didn't have to go all the way to New York to get a Coney Island hotdog" said Joe.**

 **"Are you fucking kidding me? I had to get one from here the whole time?" asked James.**

 **"Yes you did James" said Jordan.**

 **We all headed inside but Aleks decided tp play in the sewage and then chased poor Dex with his hands.**

 **After we made the order(which by the way was a depressing experience and the people who worked there we're fucking assholes) James wanted to go to the gift shop.**

 **"I want this" said James picking out a picture of a giraffe"**

 **As we all bought some stuff from the gift shop we ran into Dan and an Aleks playing with a used toliet brush. Fucking gross dude.**

 **Jordan brought everyone's food which look dissapointing and cheap.**

 **"What is this WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?" said James and he looked at his hotdog with just a slice of cheese.**

 **I picked up my hotdog and I felt so goddamn soggy. Jordan's I don't know what the fuck is on his looks like a bunch on seaweed from the beach or something.**

 **"I have never felt something so soggy in my life.**

 **"Wow, I'm completly fine with the fact we went to New York for the Nathan's Coney Island hotdog" said James tasting his hotdog.**

 **"Oh god this taste like shit, what the fuck were you thinking Jordan?" I asked.**

 **"Is this like the last food destination til we get there?" asked.**

 **"Yep" said Stefani and Spencer.**

 **"This is what's supposed to hold me til we get there?" asked James.**

 **"Well there's some Cheetos in the car" said Stefani.**

 **"There's kids starving in Africa" said Dex**

 **"*muffled words* motherfucker this doesn't taste good though" said James.**

 **"Oh Jordan you still have more to finish" said Spencer filming Jordan's box of seaweed and bits of bun.**

 **"I'm not touching that" said Jordan.**

 **"i'm gonna eat the weiner" said Aron as he just ate the hotdog without the bun.**

 **"No...no...noo" said Aleks trying to eat his hotdog with the bun falling apart.**

 **Dan then poured his root beer float in Jordan's mess and Dex put his coloring book in it as well.**

 **Afterwards Aleks and Jordan were wrestling each other to get in the sewage water.**

 **Welp back on the road again I suppose.**


	5. South Park

**Road To E3: South Park**

 **Spencer POV:**

 **After the mess at the Coney Island hotdog place we're on the road once again. James was reaching for a drink in the cooler.**

 **"I just realized there's no fucking ice in here" said James with water in hand.**

 **"You were supposed to get fucking ice Joe" said James.**

 **"Well at least the cooler has space for all the drinks" said Joe.**

 **"Exactly" said Stefani.**

 **"Who wrote the fucking list?" asked James.**

 **"Jordan wrote the list" said Spencer and Joe.**

 **"Commander I have a question to ask you" said James via walkie talkie.**

 **"Go ahead spaghetti leader" said Jordan.**

 **"I was inspecting our ice cooler and there was no ice is it the same for you as well?" asked James.**

 **"I was informed before the trip even started that a certain spaghetti comander had already picked up ice" said Jordan.**

 **"Tell him it wasn't on the list" said Stefani.**

 **"Spaghetti commander is telling me that you didn't put it on a list" said James.**

 **"Well spaghetti king failed to realize that it's common sense to put ice in a cooler" said Jordan.**

 **"Well apparently it's not common sense to put ice on a list" I added as everyone laughed.**

 **"Well tell spaghetti king that um he's dumb" said Jordan who couldn't think of a better comeback.**

 **"Look how beautiful that is guys" said Joe admiring the view.**

 **"That's my wallpaper right there" said James.**

 **"Oh yeah" said Joe.**

 **I slowed down so I'd let Jordan's group go ahead of us. So Stefani made us take a detour to a town up ahead.**

 **"Huh what where are we?" asked Zodical waking up from a nap.**

 **"Looks like an abandoned farmyard town what the fuck is this?" asked.**

 **After passing by the farm looking town we were back on track to regroup with Jordan.**

 **"This is the town that "South Park" is based off of" I told everyone.**

 **"What? that's fucking awesome!" added Zodical.**

 **"We're in South Park right now" I replied.**

 **We stopped at a little store where we a little attraction where you put you face through a hole of a picture of Stan, Kyle, Cartman, and Kenny.**

 **I was in the Stan one, James was in the Kyle one, Dex was in the Kenny one, and Stefani was in the Cartman one.**

 **"Wait hole one where's my phone" asked Joe.**

 **"I got it man" said Zodical as she pulled out her's.**

 **"Hold on wait" said Joe still trying to get his phone.**

 **"But I already got it" said Zodical.**

 **"Fucking hurry up Joe" said Dex.**

 **"We're gonna have to buy a fucking T shirt just for doing this shit" said James.**

 **"Aaaand got it" said Joe.**

 **"Aw guys they have beanies" I said looking from inside the store.**

 **"Hey James?" asked Zodical.**

 **"Yeah?" said James.**

 **"How do I look?" she asked wearing one of the beanies.**

 **"Actually you look hot where you find that one so I can buy one for me?" asked James.**

 **"Hey guys let's buy Jordan this shirt" I suggested.**

 **"Don't Be A Pussy" read Joe.**

 **"It has a cat on it so it's perfect" added James.**


	6. Gondola Ride

**Road To E3: Gondola Ride**

 **Jordan POV:**

 **Our next stop is to take a little free fun gondola ride. But sadly we're pressed for time. Spencer's group was a little bit behind and we didn't have our walkies on us so we went ahead and rode the gondola.**

 **"I'm pretty sure this is one of my fears" said Aleks.**

 **"Is it really?" asked Dan.**

 **"Probably" said Aleks.**

 **"Whoa look how fast it goes" said Dan.**

 **"Get ready boys" I told everyone.**

 **"I think I saw your fear face from last year" said Dan.**

 **"No no no I got my glasses on boys" said Aleks.**

 **Joe POV:**

 **We were about to go on the gondola ride when James started to panic.**

 **"James are you ready for this?" I asked.**

 **"Nah" replied James.**

 **"We're going up pretty high" I told him.**

 **"Nah they can't do that can they?" James asked in concern.**

 **"James don't be a little bitch this is gonna be fun" said Zodical.**

 **"Honey you can't be serious you know I don't do heights" said James.**

 **"Tell you what if you get scared just hold on to me" suggested Zodical.**

 **"Yeah James you got us you'll be fine" said Dex.**

 **As we all got in James had second thoughts.**

 **"I can still get out" said James.**

 **"James sit your ass down" said Zodical.**

 **"I don't wanna fucking go" said James as he sat down.**

 **"25 minutes James" said Dex.**

 **"25 minutes up in the air" I told him.**

 **"Are you guys alive PLEAAAAASE?" pleaded James as the doors closed.**

 **"Oh your trapped James" said Dex.**

 **"HERE WE GO!" said Spencer as the ride begins.**

 **"STOP SHAKING IT. JORDAN JORDAN JORDAN PLEASE PICK UP" said James desperately calling for help.**

 **"James JAMES look at me calm down BREATHE!" said Zodical.**

 **"Listen to your wife James" said Spencer.**

 **"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" replied James.**

 **James then held on to Zodical for dear life.**

 **"Awww James looks like a scared little child" said Stefani.**

 **James simply cried some more.**

 **As we started to go higher up the view reminded me of Jurassic World.**

 **"Hey this reminds me of Jurassic World" I said.**

 **"I was just about to say we're entering Jurassic Park right now" added Stefani as we all hummed the Jurassic Park theme.**

 **Jordan POV:**

 **Dan was filming the lense flare as Aron said:**

 **"I think I have to fart again".**

 **"The doors are closing right now why did you close the windows if you're gonna fart again?" asked Dan.**

 **"Oh God no did you really? It smells pretty bad in here" said Aleks smelling Aron's fart.**

 **"Is that cabbage? *sniffs* ugh Aron come on" said Dan.**

 **The the smell REALLY kicked in.**

 **After a while the ride ended and we found a bench to sit down and kill time.**

 **Joe POV:**

 **As the gondola went higher and higher it started to swing.**

 **"It's swinging back and forth do you not fucking feel that?" asked James stil in his panic state.**

 **Suddenly the gondola stopped and we were very high up.**

 **"Everyone calm down calm down" said Dex.**

 **"Oh wait we're movin' we're movin'" said James.**

 **As we approached a stop the operator explains he shakes the gondola to increase the fun in the ride.**

 **James obviously didn't see the fun but instead some sort of sick torture.**

 **"WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE?!" asked James.**

 **"I don't know about you guys but I'm having fun are you?" asked Zodical.**

 **"Oh yeah" said everyone else.**

 **"How the fuck can you see this as fun?" asked James.**

 **"Oh shit Jesus it looks worse going down" said Dex.**

 **"We're so fucking high up" I said.**

 **"FUCK YOU SPENCER!" said James as the camera was zoomed in on him.**

 **"James James congratulations" said Dex.**

 **"The finish line" I added.**

 **"See James it's over that wasn't bad now was it?" asked Zodical.**

 **"Get me the fuck out of here" said James as he bolted out.**

 **"YOU! I CALL YOU ON THE FUCKING WALKIE!" shouted James as he threw the walkie at Jordan.**

 **"Jordan I was fucking yelling and screaming for help you FUCKING ASSHOLES and you tell us to keep our walkies on us and you don't even fucking have yours!" shouted James"**

 **As we went to the cars to leave we gave Jordan's group the gifts we got at the little store in South Park and headed out.**


	7. Fart Candy

**Road To E3: Fart Candy**

 **Zodical POV: We all stopped at a little shopping center and went to a toy store to look around for a bit. James bought a bunch of these digusting looking candy for later.**

 **We all stood in the parking lot as James gave us all a piece of either "Fart Candy", "Onion flavored Candy" and "Vomit Drops".**

 **As we all took a bite truth be told it didn't taste like anything. Wow what a rip off.**

 **But then all of the sudded the horrible bitter after taste kicked in.**

 **"Oh god bleh that tastes like shit" I said as I spat out the candy.**

 **"Mine taste like soap" said Spencer**

 **"Mines not bad it's just not enjoyable" said Jordan.**

 **"Maybe it takes a bit to kick in" said James.**

 **"Oh god it's tingling" said Stefani.**

 **"Yeah mine has like a lavender flavor to it" said Spencer.**

 **James then pulled out the boxes and showed us what we ate and I had the vomit one.**

 **"Oh wait you had the vomit one too Stefani and Zod" said Spencer.**

 **"Let me see the box" said Jordan.**

 **He read the description and explained what could happen to us.**

 **"Okay so um these are actually they're not flavored anything weird but the ingredients will make you do the things they are" explained Jordan.**

 **"What?" asked Joe.**

 **"James" said Spencer.**

 **"I'M GONNA TURN INTO AN ONION?" asked Dan in concern.**

 **"I'm gonna vomit?" asked Stefani.**

 **Spencer then spat out his piece as James spat out his into his hand and tossed it.**

 **"JAMES WHAT DID YOU DO TO US?" asked Spencer.**

 **"I HAD A FART ONE OKAY I'M GONNA GET IT BAD TOO!" replied James.**

 **"What if I'm gonna vomit?" asked Spencer.**

 **"The victim won't suspect a thing a must addition for any candy" said Jordan as he read the box.**

 **"JAMES! I'M GONNA PUKE ON YOU FOR MAKING ME EAT THIS SHIT!" I shouted.**

 **"It's not true, how do you know these things?" asked James.**

 **"Because it said so on the box" replied Spencer.**

 **I didn't read the back I thought it was flavored like fart" said James.**

 **"You fucking poisoned everyone here" said Aleks.**

 **"WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO US?" added Dex.**

 **"Thanks for poisoning us James" said Spencer.**

 **"You want another one" James asked.**

 **"NO!" replied Spencer.**

 **I then grabbed the boxes from Jordan and threw it at James.**

 **"Zod come on now that was uncalled for" said James.**

 **I then smacked him repeatedly on the head. He ran so I chased him around the parking lot.**


	8. Carnival

**Road To E3: Carnival**

 **Spencer POV: It was night time as myself, Dex, James, Aleks and Aron grouped up and continued on the road.**

 **We came across a carnival in an upcoming exit. As if we're not gonna go to a carnival.**

 **When we got there James wanted to do the test your strength hammer thing.**

 **"Oh wait we gotta do this I've fone this before and I did pretty good" said James.**

 **James was up first and he almost made it.**

 **Then it was my turn and I was pretty close too.**

 **Dex was up next and he did terribly.**

 **Then we all got out prizes which was basically hammers and little aliens.**

 **Next up was the skeet shooting stand as Aleks was about to display his CSGO accuracy.**

 **"You're gonna get your CSGO knowledge going here?" I asked.**

 **"I guess" replied Aleks.**

 **Aleks managed to get a few targets until he fired again and he forgot to cock his gun.**

 **"Oh crap" said Aleks.**

 **"You didn't you didn't cock it" said James.**

 **Aleks took another shot and took out two targets in one shot.**

 **Then all of a sudden random people wanted to in the video since I was recording.**

 **We came across a haunted house and as we went inside a bunch of kids were following us so we bum rushed the fuck out of there.**

 **Last thing we did was go on a teacup ride. During the ride Dex threw his sword prize for some random reason. Mind you James' candy was still in our systems.**

 **As we're about to leave James got a phone call.**

 **"Hold on a sec" said James as he pulled out his phone and put it on speaker.**

 **James: Hello?**

 **Zodical: James, Jordan wanted me to call you to let you know we're almost at the hotel. Where are you guys?**

 **James: We're uh at the carnival**

 **Zodical: WHAT!? You're at the carnival and I'm not there not cool man**

 **Jordan: Wait what?**

 **Stefani: No fair**

 **Joe: I wanna go to a carnival**

 **Zodical: we're gonna have a talk when you get here mister**

 **James: I love you I'll see you in a bit bye *hangs up***

 **"Welp we're in trouble" said James.**

 **"Probaly should've lied" suggested Aron.**

 **"I agree with Aron" added Dex.**


	9. Ghost Town

**Road To E3: Ghost Town.**

 **Jordan POV:**

 **Next stop was none other than Las Vegas. James pointed out that Mr. Aleksandr wasted a salad. As James and I tried to get him to finish it Aleks flipped the bowl in my face getting salad all over me. What a jerk.**

 **While on the road we found the others who stopped at a "ghost town".**

 **"What the fuck is?" asked Zodical.**

 **"Looks like something from fucking Hills Have Eyes" replied James.**

 **"My goodness what have we gotten ourselves into?" I asked.**

 **"Is this still operational?" asked James as everyone got out of the car.**

 **"This looks fucking creepy man said Zodical.**

 **We all went into one of the ruined buildings where a small passage way was opened to go down into what appeared to be the basement.**

 **"This smells like rank piss right now" said James.**

 **"There's shit all over right there look" pointed out Dex.**

 **"You going down in that hole" said James as I went down the staircase to the basement.**

 **"Mate this is creepy I don't like this" said Dex.**

 **"This is incredible Dex don't you feel free?" I asked.**

 **James then immediately laughed.**

 **"Someone was killed in here I'm telling ya" said Dex.**

 **We all then looked into the abandoned RVs which was filled with nothing but garbage.**

 **"Eww what the fuck is this?" asked James.**

 **"Bunch of junk" added Zodical.**

 **"I'm going to have a look aroud" said James as he and Zodical wondered off.**

 **James POV:**

 **"James this places reminds me of Fallout" said Zodical.**

 **"This place is fucking disguting" said James.**

 **We went across one of the little shacks and I found a golf ball.**

 **"I'm taking this" I said.**

 **"Why you don't know where that's been dude" said Zodical.**

 **"This is for to remember this place by" I replied.**

 **"Whatever you say James" said Zodical as we went back to the group.**

 **"What you got there James" asked Jordan.**

 **"This golf ball here" I said as I gave it to Jordan to look at.**

 **But Jordan being the fucking asshole he is threw it and walked away.**

 **"NOOOOOO that was mine Jordan!" I shouted as I ran toward where Jordan threw my golf ball.**


	10. Mountain Climbing

**Road To E3: Mountain Climbing**

 **James POV:**

 **We made a random stop at some moutains in the middle of the fucking Mojave Desert.**

 **Jordan wanted to do some rock climbing.**

 **"Jordan what the fuck are you doing?" I asked.**

 **"I'm rock climbing James" replied Jordan as he and Spencer jumped down.**

 **As Aleks was sitting down I told him:**

 **"Don't do that, don't do that".**

 **"I don't trust you" said Aleks.**

 **"What you think I'm gonna fucking push you off?" I asked.**

 **"Yeah" replied Aleks.**

 **"JAMES, JORDAN IS ABOUT TO HANG OFF THE EDGE!" shouted Zodical.**

 **I then looked at Jordan with the camera. Then Dex decied to shout to get an echo.**

 **"*shout*" shouted Dex.**

 **Jordan then was hanging off the edge so I went over to where he was.**

 **"It's like The Lion King" I said I watched Jordan hang on to the edge of the cliff.**

 **I proceeded to slap him so he could fall off.**

 **"James NO!" said Zodical.**

 **"Get the fuck off FALL!" I shouted.**

 **"James please" pleaded Zodical.**

 **Aleks then eventually helped up Jordan.**

 **"We could've killed him" I said.**

 **I then decided to pull out the golf ball I took from the ghost town. I wanted to free the spirits.**

 **"James I think I can toss you're golf ball down to that pond down there" said Jordan.**

 **"Don't let him touch it" said Spencer.**

 **Jordan then threw my ball anyway...and missed completely.**

 **"I uh missed the pond" said Jordan.**

 **"No fucking shit, thanks to you the spirits will be trapped for eternity" I replied.**

 **"Let's get out of here" said Jordan.**

 **"WATCH OUUUTTTTTT!" shouted Joe getting in one last echo.**

 **As everyone left back to the car I noticed Zodical sitting down cliffside taking a picture on her phone.**

 **"Zod we're leaving babe" I told her.**

 **"Yeah just give me a minute" replied Zodical.**

 **"Hold on" I told her as I took a seat next to her.**

 **"It's really beautiful up here" said Zodical.**

 **I put my arm around her and held her close.**

 **"I love you so much" I told Zodical as I give her a kiss.**

 **As we both enjoyed the peaceful moment...*sigh* fucking Jordan had to fucking ruin it.**

 **"JAMES, ZODICAL COME ON LET'S GO WE GOT E3 TO GO TO" shouted Jordan.**


	11. Salad Wars

**Road To E3: Salad Wars**

 **James POV:**

 **Jordan and I went to Subway to buy another salad for the salad waster Aleks.**

 **"Aleks wasted a six dollar salad and we're gonna return the favor" said Jordan.**

 **"So we're wasting another six dollar salad in the process" I replied.**

 **As we both left Subway Jordan went to give Aleks the salads.**

 **But apparently Aleks knew what was gonna happen and swatted them in Jordan's face and threw some at my face then ran off.**

 **As Joe's group drove off to try to catch him our group tried to beat them to Aleks.**

 **"Aleks is hitchiking let's get him boys!" shouted Jordan.**

 **But by the time we got on the road Aleks was already with Joe's group.**

 **We all traveled to our next stop which was some danky ass looking rest stop.**

 **"Uh are those two cars from the fucking Pixar movie Cars?" asked Zodical.**

 **"What the fu-*laugh*" I laughed.**

 **"James look it's the Mystery Machine" said Zodical.**

 **"What let me see" said Joe as he Spencer ran over.**

 **"Oh yeah look there's Fred, Velma Scooby,...Shaggy" said Spencer.**

 **"I like how you just casually skip Daphne" said Zodical.**

 **"Oh that's her name" replied Spencer as I laughed afterwards.**

 **Meanwhile Aleks was searching in the trunk of our car for his bag. I had a bowl of salad in hand.**

 **"Excuse me what are you doing?" I asked Aleks as I then threw the salad at him.**

 **"I WAS A BYSTANDER ASSHOLE AN INNOCENT VICTIM!" I shouted.**

 **Jordan then rushed towards Aleks with his bowl of salad.**

 **Aron the traitor tossed Aleks his poncho to shield him.**

 **Jordan tossed some salad at Aleks but actually hit Zodical instead.**

 **"WATCH OUT!" shouted Joe.**

 **But it was too late.**

 **"WHAT...THE...FUCK!" shouted Zodical.**

 **She then bolted towards Jordan.**

 **"ZODICAL NOOOOO!" shouted Jordan fleeing from my wife.**

 **"Oh shit, GET HIM HONEY" I said in shock and awe.**

 **"FUCKING ASSHOLE" shouted Zodical as she hitted Jordan with the salad.**

 **"I think the moral of the story here today is don't waste salad kids" said Joe still filming.**


	12. Bug Licking

**Road To E3: Bug Licking**

 **Zodical POV:**

 **We stopped a a gas station to get some snacks and drinks. I went to the bathroom to clean out bits of salad from my hair that asshole Jordan threw at me just to hit Aleks.**

 **I went back to the cards when I overheard Jordan saying:**

 **"Aron I'll give you 20 dollars to lick the bug off the windshield"**

 **What the fuck?**

 **"I'll do it" replied Spencer.**

 **Okay what the fuck is going on?**

 **"Now Spencer I want to see a full contact 2 second drag" said Jordan.**

 **"Okay I'll do it" said Spencer as he actually licked the splattered bug off the windshield.**

 **Fucking gross. I felt like I wanted to throw up.**

 **"Fucking nasty" said Dex.**

 **"Can I have 20 dollars?" asked Spencer.**

 **"What's it taste like?" asked James.**

 **"It tastes like shit, like vomit" said Spencer as he spat on the ground.**

 **"Dude why the fuck would you do that?" I asked.**

 **"20 dollars is 20 dollars" replied Spencer.**

 **Jordan then pulled out his wallet.**

 **"Yeah can we finish this transaction I need to wash my mouth out" said Spencer as Jordan pulled a 20.**

 **"There's 20 dollars oh my goodness" said Jordan.**

 **"I'll give you 20 dollars if you do it again for me but Aron get's an inside view" offered James.**

 **"James you can't be serious" I replied.**

 **"I'll do it" said Spencer as Aron got inside the car and readied the camera.**

 **"You ready?" asked Spencer.**

 **"Yeah" replied Aron as Spencer jumped on to lick the windshield.**

 **"UGHHHHHH UGHH" said Jordan in disgust.**

 **"Does anyone have 20 dollars?" asked Spencer.7**

 **"You licked it clean off" said Jordan.**

 **"You just made 40 dollars today for licking a bug off a windshield" said Jordan.**

 **"That's still fucking disgusting" I added.**


	13. Kmart Shopping

**Road To E3: Kmart Shopping**

 **James POV:**

 **After we all had dinner we stopped at a Big Kmart.**

 **"Is that a Western Union sponsored ride?" asked Dan as he saw one of the coin operated rides.**

 **Jordan then went to the soda machine for some change.**

 **"A bottle of water is $1.25" said Jordan.**

 **As Aron squeezed in Aleks and I jumped on.**

 **"Oh god I'm about to fall" I said as I fell on my back.**

 **"James you alright babe?" asked Zodical taking a picture.**

 **"Just help me up please" I asked.**

 **"Alright let's go inside" said Jordan.**

 **As we went inside Aron got in one of the carts.**

 **"James why don't you push me around in a cart?" asked Zodical.**

 **"Fine hop in" I said as I grabbed another cart.**

 **We went to the toys section first.**

 **Aleks picked up some scooters while Spencer and Dan tossed some balls at each other.**

 **Spencer accidently threw a ball at my ass.**

 **"Watch it asshole!" I shouted.**

 **Zod just laughed.**

 **We all then went to the clothes section for Aleks.**

 **"Aleks look at this" said Jordan as he pulled a sleeveless tee.**

 **"I don't care as long I don't smell like tuna" said Aleks.**

 **As we were about to go to the checkout Zod had to get out of the cart.**

 **"James a little help" asked Zodical.**

 **"I can't believe no one gave us like strange looks" I said as I picked up Zodical in my arms.**

 **"Look at mister king Aron over here" I said as I looked a Aron still in his cart overflowing with stuff we bought as we proceeded to the checkout line.**


	14. Vegas Fun

**Road To E3: Vegas Fun**

 **Zodical POV:**

 **We finally made it to Vegas. We walked around in a shopping center area where James dunked his head into a fountain.**

 **"Think about all the bacteria that was in there" said Joe.**

 **"Ugh fuck you're right" said James.**

 **Afterwards we noticed a parrot.**

 **"Goooood birrrrrrrd" said Joe attempting to get the parrot to repeat what he said.**

 **We wanted to get footage of the parrot but the handler said it was off limits.**

 **"Stupid birds, you think we wanna take a picture with you stupid birds" said Jordan.**

 **"Good bird, good little birdie" added Joe.**

 **We all then went to a store where they sold poker chips.**

 **"They would tell us to get the fuck out if we walked in with these" said Aleks.**

 **"I wonder how much these cost?" I asked.**

 **"500 dollars" replied Aleks.**

 **James went over and saw a bunch of hand puppets.**

 **"Oh James you have to get one" said Joe.**

 **"Hey Zod come here" said James calling me over.**

 **James then put the puppet in my face trying to be cute.**

 **"James get that out of my face or I'll break it's neck" I told him.**

 **"Why you gotta be like that babe?" James asked.**

 **Aleks and Jordan then came over.**

 **"Eww what is that?" asked Jordan,**

 **"It's the one from the office's girlfriend" replied James.**

 **"As long as it stays in the office I don't give a shit" I added.**

 **We all finally headed back to the cars as we took the elevator to the parking garage.**

 **"Aleks' face is just gonna be sitting there when we get out" said Jordan.**

 **"So Aleks is racing us there" said Jordan.**

 **"Aleks will be right there by the door waiting" said Jordan,**

 **"He won't, I bet you he won't" said Stefani.**

 **As the doors opened Aleks was not in front of the door but sitting on the stairs instead.**

 **"I thought you were gonna have your face right there waiting I was gonna tackle ya" said Jordan.**

 **"How's ya do it?" asked Joe.**

 **"It's his muscle milk" said Jordan.**

 **"Not sponsored by Muscle Milk" said Aleks showing it to the camera.**

 **When we got to the roof, Aleks took the Hello Kitty Chair we got at Kmart and took off with it.**

 **"That chair was very significant to this trip" said James.**

 **Aleks then just continued off as Jordan and Stefani went to the car and James, Joe and I followed him.**

 **"Aleks what are you doing?" asked James as Aleks placed the chair down.**

 **Aleks then took the bag of stuff we bought earlier and threw the chair off the garage to the streets below.**

 **"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" shouted James.**

 **"Oh shit people are looking we gotta bail" I said after I looked down at the streets.**

 **"I'm outta here boys" said Aleks as he ran off.**

 **We all went back to Jordan and Stefani.**

 **"What happened?" asked Jordan.**

 **"I threw it off the balcony" replied Aleks.**

 **"No you didn't" said Stefani in doubt.**

 **"He did" added Joe.**

 **"What?" asked Stefani.**

 **"We gotta get outta here" said Jordan.**

 **"It might have landed partially in the road" said Aleks.**

 **"There were people down there or whatever" added Joe.**

 **"So I don't know like" said Aleks.**

 **"Get in the car get in the car" said Jordan.**


	15. Del Taco

**Road To E3: Del Taco**

 **Zodical POV:**

 **After a day of going to a gun range, roadside golfing, and buying some beef jerky at a place with animitronic miners it was off to our next stop which was where we're going to have dinner.**

 **"So where are we eating?" I asked.**

 **"Well without giving too much away I'll tell you this, It's a place myself, James, Aleks and Dan went to in the past Oh wait the sign is coming up" said Jordan as he pointed to a sign that said "Del Taco" on it.**

 **"NO NOOOOO" said James in fear.**

 **"Oh hot diggity dog we just passed the sign" added Jordan.**

 **"No no NO!" added James.**

 **"Zodical don't listen to James this place has the most amazing mexican food you'll ever eat" said Jordan.**

 **As we pulled up we noticed the windows looked covered as if the place was condemned.**

 **"It's closed It's cl- *laughs*" laughed James.**

 **"It's not closed" said Jordan,**

 **"It would've been brilliant if it was" added Jordan.**

 **"Jordan you're a piece of shit" said Aleks.**

 **"Hot diggity dog" said Jordan as he left the car excited.**

 **"Stef, I think Jordan might kill us" I said as I took off my seatbelt.**  
 **"I hope not" replied Stefani as she got out of the car.**

 **"I was telling Dex how the food was surpisingly amazing last year" said Dan as his group got out.**

 **"Oh it is" added Jordan.**

 **"I don't wanna go in there we did this shit last year you should fucking go eat for us" said James.**

 **"Hey I was telling Dex how good this food was and how surprisingly great it was" explained Dan.**

 **"You're telling me we got to keep it up" said James.**

 **"You have to act like it's good Dex and Zodical think it's good" said Dan.**

 **"Then we shouldn't go in there" said James.**

 **Jordan then dragged Aleks out of the car struggling.**

 **"You fucking asshole" said Aleks refusing to leave.**

 **"YO YOU GUYS COMING OR NOT?" I asked.**

 **James and Aleks then just...ran off with Dan and Spencer in pursuit and didn't stop.**

 **Meanwhile back at Del Taco after Jordan ordered the food.**

 **"You know you guys have to eat your tacos" said Jordan.**

 **"I'm not going to" said Stefani in defiance.**

 **"Yes you are" assured Jordan.**

 **"But I don't like Del Taco" said Stefani.**

 **"Did you get a burrito?" asked Jordan.**

 **"What you'd get?" asked Dex.**

 **"Taco" replied Jordan.**

 **"Fuck sake I wanted a burrito I'll order one for you guys" said Dex as he left to order a burrito.**

 **"Dexter no Dex" said Stefani.**

 **"There he goes ordering a burrito" said Jordan.**

 **"He's a gonner" said Stefani.**

 **"Jordan I swear if this gives me food poisoning or something" I told him.**

 **"Zodical relax this place has good food" assured Jordan.**

 **"It doesn't" whispered Stefani.**

 **After Dex came we waited a few minutes and our food arrived.**

 **"Oh for god sakes there's cheese on my burrito" complained Dex.**

 **"You're serious Dex?" I asked.**

 **"I thought it wasn't gonna have cheese" said Dex.**

 **"It's a regular burrito" said Jordan.**

 **"Well I'm gonna ask for one without cheese I'll be right back" said Dex as he left to re order his burrito. Fucking weirdo.**

 **"Cheers" said Joe as we toasted our Del Tacos hoping it wouldn't kill us.**

 **Everyone execpt Aron took a bite.**

 **I immediately spit it out along with Stefani and Joe.**

 **Aron made the smartest decision of his life.**

 **"I'll be at the car" said Joe.**

 **"Right behing you" said Stefani.**

 **"Is there and extra one? I making James eat this shit after bailing on us" I asked.**

 **"There's one extra in the bag" said Joe.**

 **Dex then came back with his cheeseless burrito and took a bite.**

 **"This taste like dog food" said Dex.**

 **Joe then poured some Del Taco sauce on his burrito.**

 **"What the hell are you doing?" asked Dex.**

 **"EAT IT eat it right now" said Joe.**

 **As Dex continued to eat his burrito he actually like it.**

 **"It's not good but at the same time it's not as bad as you all make it out to be" said Dex.**

 **"Joe then gagged a bit.**

 **We all then left as we saw Spencer, James, Dan, and Aleks.**

 **"I FEEL LIKE A CHANGED MAN!" shouted Dex.**

 **"See I was true to my word" said Dan.**

 **"I am the new Del Taco GOD!" said Dex.**

 **As James got in the car I came towards him with the bag of Del Taco.**

 **"What the fuck are you doing?" asked James.**

 **"You're gonna eat this and you're gonna eat it ALL" I replied.**

 **"Get that shit out of my face" said James swatting it away from my hand.**

 **"OPEN!" I shouted.**

 **"James if you don't eat this you're sleeping on the floor tonight at the hotel" I said.**

 **James still didn't want to comply so I pinched his nose and force fed him the shitty taco.**

 **As I fed James the taco I heard sobbing after each bite.**

 **"There there shh shh shh shh It's okay" I said.**

 **"WHY?" asked James.**

 **"HEY eat it all mister" I told him as I made him eat the whole taco.**

 **"James I'm doing this because I love you and you ran off like a little bitch" I explained.**


	16. End Of The Road

**Road To E3: End Of The Road**

 **James POV:**

 **We finally made to to LA. It's 3 AM and we're all at the Santa Monica Pier fucking around.**

 **Aron took off his shoes and ran in the water with Spencer in pursuit.**

 **"WHAT ARE THEY DOING? I can't see it but I'm sure it's happening" said Dan.**

 **"Is the night vision on?" asked Jordan.**

 **Aron and Spencer then came running back soaking wet.**

 **"JORDAN It's cold!" shouted Spencer.**

 **"Why'd ya jump in there?" asked Jordan.**

 **"Now my shoes are all wet GOD DAMN IT!" said Spencer in a fit.**

 **"WE DON'T HAVE ANY TOWELS!" said Dan.**

 **I then picked up Aron and carried him to the water.**

 **"NOOOOOOO NOOOOOOO" shouted Aron.**

 **"PUSH JAMES IN THE WATER!" Shouted Dex and Stefani.**

 **As we both came back to the shore with Aron even more wet.**

 **"Jesus you look like a sewer rat" said Spencer.**

 **I then looked at Zodical.**

 **"You're out of you're goddamn mind if you think you're gonna carry me to the water getting me wet" said Zodical.**

 **I then picked her up and carried her out to the water.**

 **"James JAMES! MOTHERFUCKER PUT ME DOWN NOOOOOOOO!" shouted Zodical.**

 **"This is for making me eat fucking Del Taco" I added.**

 **"JAMES James put me down now!" demanded Zodical.**

 **I dropped her and she splashed.**

 **"*gasps for air* Motherf-" said Zodical as she ran towards me or at least she tried too as she splashed back down.**

 **I ran off as fast as I could.**

 **"Son of a bitch GET BACK HERE NOW!" shouted Zodical.**

 **Meanwhile.**

 **"Well that closes the Road To E3 thank you guys so much for watching" said Dan.**

 **"Thank you for taking me on this amazing trip" said Joe.**

 **"Now we gotta drive back to Colorado now" said Stefani.**

 **"We gotta go see E3" said Dan.**

 **"We came here for E3" said Jordan,**

 **"HA yo what the fuck is E3?" asked Aleks.**

 **"Who the fuck cares at this point I'm done I replied winded.**

 **"Zodical you excited for E3?" I asked.**

 **In response was a smack in the face.**

 **"Pumped!" said Zodical.**

 **"SPENCER!" shouted Jordan,**

 **"JORDAN!" shouted back Spencer as he was still in the water for some reason.**

 **"Jordan, help me Jordan" pleaded Spencer as he floated back to shore.**

 **"Spencer" said Jordan.**

 **"Jordan help me" pleaded Spencer.**

 **You're making a good title screen stay still" said Jordan.**

 **I then rushed over to Spencer's aid.**

 **"I'm not dead yet" said Spencer.**

 **"WE GOTTA GIVE HIM MOUTH TO MOUTH!" I shouted as I got sand all over Spencer.**

 **"Well let's get out of here for tomorrow we GO TO E3!" said Jordan.**


	17. Epilogue

**Road To E3: Epilogue**

 **Zodical POV:**

 **Zodical: Well E3 it's been fun! See you next year!**

 **James: ZodicalCandy it's been a hell of ride**

 **Zodical: UberHaxorNova I'm still mad at you for tossing me in the water back at the Santa Monica Pier**

 **James: ZodicalCandy I love you 3**

 **Zodical: UberHaxorNova Fuck You!**

 **James: ZodicalCandy :)**

 **Back at home after unpacking and unwinding it was time for bed.**

 **"You had fun?" asked James.**

 **"Yeah I had a fun time" I replied.**

 **"Good now get your fine ass in bed" said James.**

 **James then pulled me in the bed.**

 **"I can't believe you guys get to go every yeat to E3" I said.**

 **"We have our adventures" replied James.**

 **"I'm already excited for next year" I said as I turned off the lights and cozied up to James.**


End file.
